Magic and Aliens dont Mix
by snowzinger5
Summary: J and K stumble upon Hogwarts and find that one special wizard with the lighting bolt tattoo might be a vital part of saving the galaxy. And can the golden trio help the boys in black to fight a Alien who can bend reality? I dont own these characters. Ive
1. Chapter 1

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J and K flew over the Atlantic ocean at a rate of 4000 miles per hour in K's "Ford p.o.s". " So K what exactly are we looking for"? " We are looking for an escapee bug that illegally landed on this planet, and capture it before it can cause trouble"." Hmm ok the usual go in search, capture, neruralise method then"? " Yep". They flew for a while crossing the ocean with a smooth pace. Soon they saw a strange castle on the horizon that never was seen before." Uh K, I've never seen that before"? " Me neither, call Zed, ask him what the hell it is". J picked up his cell phone modified to have signal anywhere in the galaxy." Zed"? Zed replied over the line." Yes Kid"? " Zed have you ever noticed a castle about a few miles from our position"?" No not even the LAMSAT's are seeing it check it out I want to know what the hell it is"." And it seems that our little alien friend is headed for it". The came to the castle, it was massive, towering above them and the car with its massive towers. " You dont see stuff like this anymore". J said as he climbedout of the car with K. " Well the alien looks like its headed into the forest behind the castle lets follow it".

Harry Potter walked the ground carefully as he, Ron and Hermione looked for her bracelet that Draco Malfoy purposely tossed off the fifth floor balcony. " Damn Malfoy if my braclet is broken ill turn him into a broomstick and toss him into a wood chipper. That braclet has been passed down for generations". " I know Hermione we will find it, if we dont now we can always check in the morning". Ron chirped up from behind her." Aggh, I hate it when Malfoy does this kind of thing". Harry said as he scanned the grass along a tree." I hope it didnt land in the dark forest then ill never find it and ill never hear the end of it". Hermione said as she scanned the grass." I found it"! Ron said loudly as he went to grab it, but a green skinned blur beats him to it." Did you guys see that thing"!?" YES GRAB IT BEFORE IT TAKES MY BRACELET"!! Hermione shouted as she bolted after the thing. Harry and Ron darted after it as the green blur almost flew ahead. " There it is"! J shouted as he bolted after the green alien speed demon. J pulled out his Series 4 deatomsiser pistol and opened fire.

The alien exploded in a green explosion of guts and alien blood. Blood and guts rained on Hermione and Ron as it blew apart. They saw each other instantly. Harry soon came up behind them and gasped at the 2 men in dark suits and the condition his friends were in. K grabbed his neuraliser quickly, put on his sunglasses and flashed it, leaving little time for J to get his sunglasses on. They stood there dazed for a quick sec wondering why they just flashed them with a light." Um if you dont mind me asking what was that for"? Hermione chirped up as she wiped goo off of her." Aggh what is this stuff"? Ron said as he tried to wipe off the goo that covered him. J and K's eyed widened in shock, they were immune to the neuraliser, they werent even dazed. " Uh K this is a problem". J said as he stood there shocked." Well J in all my years of work as an agent no one has been immune to the neuraliser". Amongst all that shock and awe no one noticed a small green thing lunge at Hermiones neck.


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione fell to the ground struggling to get the gooey worm off her neck. Harry tried to burn it off the but the spell bounced off the slimy membrane of the beast. J and K grabbed Harry and Ron and kept them away as J took out a strange looking device that looked like a pincer with tazers at the end, and K held struggling and screaming Hermione down. " Your going back where you belong you little-." Just as J lunged at the green parasite it absorbed into the terrfied red-heads skin. Her head fell back and her eyes rolled back to the whites as her body went limp. " Oh damn, this a Seclarian parasite!" " J I know that," He turned to the two teens standing behind them one with glasses and a lighting bolt tattoo trying to keep a red head with freckles calm. " Is there anyplace we can get anything to make her throw up? If we dont get this thing out of her it will burrow from her neck to her stomach and into her bloodstream, and that will kill her."

They both knew it would be violating school rules and that this probably situtation made those rules void but they would have to take her into Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardy a no muggles allowed place. " Yes follow us" The boy with glasses said as the other boy with freckles started to look panicky. The hoisted her up and rushed to the castle trying to block out the gurgling sounds the parasite made as it traveled down her throat into her throat. " The hospital wing of the school should have a few poitions that should make her vomit up her breakfast, lunch, and dinner." " And hopefully whatever that thing is in her, bloody hell that thing is making her throat turn green." " What would you two names be?" K asked as Harry opened the entrance to the castle. The one with glasses spoke up " Im Harry Potter and this is Ron Weasley." He looked down at the limp girl in their hands and said. " This is our friend Hermione Granger." Harry said as they turned a corner passing many students and a teacher in their path. They ran into the hospital wing as a man in a big robe and a long black beard walked to them saying. " Ron, Harry who are those people and whats wrong with Hermiones throat." " Hagrid im going to have to explain later, now get me something that can get her to throw up the parasite thats gotten in her." " Well I think a simple vomiting potion should cure that." Hagrid said as he ran to a potion cabinet and pulled out a clear vial with a dark grey fluid. Hermiones stomach gurgled violently as the parasite made her belly become green as it burrowed there. J took the potion from Hagrids hand fed it down Hermiones throat.

Suddenly her eyes shot open and she threw up over the side of the bed. Bile poured out of her mouth including the green parasite the gooey membrane gone. Ron stomped on it hearing a sickening crunch and gurgle as it turned into a pile of green goop. Then a man burst into the room puffing from exertion under his robe and his long grey beard. " Im Professor Dumbledor of the Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. What is going on and why did you burst into here a student limp in your arms and now a pile of vomit on the ground with what seems to be some sort of green parasite in it?" The man asked J and K. K stepped forward holding out his hand and a badge saying, " Sir im agent K and this is agent J of the M.I.B. and you have some explaining to do yourself."


	3. Chapter 3

J and K sat in Dumbledores office as he pondered the dark suited men's profiles.  
"What was that thing that infected our student Hermione Granger?" "It was a rouge Seclarian parasite that illegaly entered this planet and fled here. It was going to go into her stomach and absorb itself into her bloodstream and eventually eat away her organs, but it prefers the brain and cortex the most." K said as J stepped in the conversation saying. " This parasite also may have layed eggs in her stomach wall we will have to take her back to M.I.B. headquarters to see if there is any and remove them." " Well if it is absolutley nescessary than yes, under the condition that she does not go alone." " We could go with her." Ron said as he and Harry walked into the office a look of concern for their friend Hermione written across their faces." Ah yes Mr. Weasly I think you and Mr. Potter would make good companions." He looked to J and K saying, " I expect my students to return home safe and sound Mr. J and K I trust you will take good care of them." " Of course Mr. Dumbledorf." J said as he stood up from his chair K following suit. 

Harry sat down in the car of the two strange muggle agents as Ron came in with a bit pale looking Hermione. J and K sat up front each both occasionally looking into the rear-view mirror, checking on the sick Hermione. " Mr.Dumbledorf told you what we do right?" J said as he looked into the rear-view mirror again glancing at Harry. " He told us what he understood I think he is a bit taken back about all this alien buisness." K chuckled and said. " Finnaly some common ground to start on," he turned around in his seat looking to the kids." Kids we are M.I.B. or men in black if you prefer to call us that. We started as a under-funded government organization for the sole purpose of establishing first contact with aliens. In 1961 we made first contact, there were nine of us that night. Seven agents one astronomer and one kid that got lost on the wrong back road." He handed them pictures of that event and Harry swiped it up and the trio began to look through them. "Aww who is this giving the tall alien the flowers?" Hermione said as she looked through the pictures. " That would be me darlin'." K said as he started up the engines and the car took off into the night sky the sun starting to peak the horizon.

Steps echoed through the hallways of Hogwarts as Professor Snape looked as Draco Malfoy dashed to meet him. Instead of talking in english they began to converse in a strange language. " Dracious the one has escaped." Snape said in the strange language. " Why did you let him escape?" Draco shot back in the strange language. " I didnt know he was leaving until it was too late." They turned to see a woman clad in a leather trenchcoat and long black pants, and a hunter green tanktop. She spoke in clear english, " Boys, boys your cant save him you never had a chance. Now that my little green glop did his job and the foolish M.I.B. took him away from your protection. I can finally act out my plan." " You cant get him Laran, he is more stronger than you think." " Oh just you watch."

She snapped her fingers and Snapes and Dracious' spines snapped without so much as a moment to react. She laughed as their bodies crumpled to the ground. she snapped her fingers again and their bodies went flat and blood gushed from their bodies.


End file.
